Why can't you look me in the eye, for one last time?

It's funny knowing that you're still fine, I can reach April already so I think I could see you around accidentally? actually, I want to know how does it feel to see you again, you know I wasn't able to see you for like ages, I think the only thing that is different is that when we see each other, there will be no connections, no more warm conversations it would be like having a simple look and smile, that's it. I want to hear that you're having good time with your  friends, FRIENDS ALONE, no special attention for the coolest girl you have been met? that is the only thing that bothers me at the moment. Seeing your pictures on Facebook makes me think about you all the time and it is kinda hard for me to say that I really miss you and I want to go back to the old times but I think it's too late, we're better off as friends, that would be better for our situation besides I'm the one who decided to let go and I should stand through it and I know I can do it. All that I want is to have a day with you to talk about stuff but it is impossible. So yeah? See you around when April hits the calendar :)

The "X" factor.

Past is Past.

Yes, definitely!

I would like to share something that irritates me, last January 28, 2011 (friday) me and my friends decided to go swimming at La Vista Resort in Balanga and yeah I was with my Boyfriend that time, I don't expect that his X-girlfriend is there too, oh well this is great imma see his X-girlfriend and i'm pretty chilled.

I'm not expecting that his X would go in our place just to ask who is my boyfriend's girlfriend? how pathetic! why is she asking? she went in our place just to ask that question? how curious is she? luckily, i'm not in our cottage when she went there but if i'm there? darn, I think I could be a pain in her ass. :) She needs attention. lol

Lazy

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything....

-Bruno Mars

It's a boring monday, I wasn't able to attend school because I don't feel good at the moment and right now, I can't think of anything to do so I decided to do blogging. I don't know what to write I cannot think of good words to say here and yeah I'm bored, super BOOORRREEEDDDD! 

I don't feel like using my phone right now, I don't feel like watching TV, I don't feel like walking outside the house, I don't feel like eating right now, I don't feel like talking to anyone right now, I don't know why? I'm friggin Lazy, hey! it's a Lazy monday. I think I should sleep for a moment, yeah i will sleep now :D KTHNXBYE.

Back to December

Maybe it's the beginning of goodbye

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
'Cause the last time you saw me
Still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
I think about summer And  all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.....

Not like the movies

Just like the movies, love is scenematic and dramatic, how I wish I was the one who's directing my own love story with twist and turn at the beggining and would surely end smooth sailing, that's what I wanted it to be.

A love story that contains happy ending with my ideal partner in life but it is just not like the movies, no fairy tale dreams to wish just look at the brightside. We should live with reality not with fantacies. 

Whats the point of having one when all you gonna do is to hide it?

                    

My first tattoo.
by: Frean

  I thought mom's going to kill me if she knew i already have a tattoo but I was wrong!

 is it hard to get a job when you have a tattoo? Ok, fine. Come what may......

 I'm planning to have another one but not this year. Maybe after college. :)

 Having one is not just for being cool, duh! I decided to have one because it has a great meaning to me and it's        one way of showing who the hell am I and what's happening in my life

-  Thats it for now.

Fighting for nothing

So let’s go back, to the first time, that I met you, in your Chevy, with your hands stretched, and me crying, screaming, “Mercy, Mercy!”
But I know that, I was put here, to fight Vikings, in the cold war, with my arms out, in the front lines, singing, “Dare me. Dare me.”
                                                     -MEG AND DIA




I Thought this day was the best day ever! everything seems perfect but I was wrong, I told you I was wrong! I don't know where to cling to, why are there some people act so rude? what's their reason? I'm feeling so f*cked up right now I really don't know what to beleive and what to do, I'm so much hurt, so d'you think i'm dumb? why does this always happen to me? do I really deserve this? i've made my own decision and I think I should stick to it no matter how nerve breaking it was. 


This feeling was like tearing me apart to pieces, pain caused by guilt, pain caused by self pity, pain caused by being accused and pain that won't relieve. As far as I know, I don't really have any idea about that bitch! it's just her sister messaged me and she was like a bomb exploding to nothing, it's not my fault anymore so you should stop telling me such rude things, I don't need to explain myself anymore say whatever you wanna say THE HELL I CARE?!!!


Am I fighting for nothing? does this cost a lot? I should not give up on this. I will succeed and get what I want. It's going to be part of the history I promise.